Why we’re not ‘Going for the girl’

Having three boys, something I hear a lot of is ‘So, are you going to go for the girl?’. In fact, it’s something I started hearing pretty much as soon as we had the 20 week scan with Boaz and found out he was a boy. Usually this question just elicits a nervous laugh from me, and an attempt to change the subject quickly. But I’m going to give a proper response here because a) I think this is something that does need a proper response and not just glossing over and b) I want my children to grow up knowing that they are dearly loved and wanted for who they are.

So here is my answer to that bizarre question.


We are not ‘going for the girl’. Firstly, biology dictates that this is impossible. But, aside from this, children are a gift from the sovereign Lord. He knew them before the beginning of time. He has fearfully and wonderfully made each one of them. And He has ordained that each one of our children, thus far, should be boys. And in a world where society seems to say that it is OK for men to act as boys and shirk their responsibilities as fathers and husbands, what an honour and a privilege to be tasked with a ministry to raise Christian men of the next generation who will, Lord willing, be men of God in whatever He calls them to.

So to all my children, present and any future children, I want to say this: You are fearfully and wonderfully made and we are honoured and blessed that God chose to task us to be your parents. We love you. You. And we do not wish that you had been anyone other than who you are.

To any future boys that God may bless us with: You were not supposed to be a girl. We are so pleased that God has blessed us with you. We love you. Never feel that you’re only here because we were hoping for a girl.

To any future girls that God may bless us with: You are a blessing from the Lord and we love you. There is no expectation for you to be anyone other than you are. We were not holding out for you, in that we were not holding out for someone to put in dresses or do ‘girly’ things with. Please never feel a burden to be ‘girly’. We love you because you are you.



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